Tuesday, February 9, 2016

"I want to send flowers. I have no idea what I'm doing." How To Send Flowers Like A Boss


Last time I talked about why you should send flowers. A lot of women have NEVER received flowers as a gift. That means that you have a huge opportunity to make an unforgettable impression and drastically escalate your romantic relationship.

To give you an example of how memorable flowers are, I recently helped a pair of daughters pick out flowers for their fathers funeral. We decided on red roses as our theme. One of these beautiful women said to me: "When I turned eighteen my dad bought me a dozen red roses. That was the only time a man ever bought flowers for me." This woman was in her 60's. How much of an impact did these flowers have on her? How many times in her life do you think she remembers those flowers? 

When you consider the fact that you're influencing someone's memories in a positive way for A LIFETIME, the cost starts to seem pretty trivial. How much is it worth to make a woman you love think you're awesome forever?

I speak from experience. I sent flowers to the woman who is now my wife at a pivotal time early on in our relationship. If you were to ask her, she would tell you the fact that I sent flowers set me far apart from her other suitors at the time. No man had ever bought her flowers before. She is way out of my league, guys. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

If you're not on board at this point, if your like "Uhhhh! Flowers DIE!" Please, just stop reading. I can't help you. Go buy your wife a bowling ball with your name on it and enjoy your alimony payments.

If you're ready to be that guy, the guy who's not like all the others, The guy who's confident and classy. The guy who understands her, read on. I have a foolproof system to help you send the perfect flowers the first time and every time.

Step One: Plan it out.

You're going to want to arrange delivery for a day when you know where she's going to be for a while. If you know she's going to be at work or at home all day, that's great. Florists usually can't guarantee a specific delivery time on holidays, so be prepared to be flexible.

Pro Tip: Find out her favorite colors. You can do this by just asking, or by noticing what colors she uses in her decorating. You can get clues from her favorite artwork, her favorite outfit or accessory, or the color of the products she buys. If her dish soap, fabric softener, and mouthwash are all purple, that's a good sign she likes purple. Favorite colors are easier than favorite flowers. Her favorite flower is probably some strange thing she saw on Pintrest that may or may not be available. If you tell a florist her favorite color, you will get something way cooler than you imagined.

This is going to sound obvious, but you should know her first and last name, her phone number, and the address of the place where she's going to be. Have this information ready.

Step Two: Find a florist

You want to call a real, local florist that is in the town where she lives. Use Yelp or Google to search for a florist. They should be able to verify that they are a real florist with a local address when you call them.

I'm going to say it. If you use one of the big online flower services, you're an idiot. National websites are not florists. They're referral services with a call center on the other side of the planet that charge you to talk to them on the phone, then they try to farm out your order to whatever local florist will fill it for less money than you paid. Guess what I do when these guys call me? I hang up. I'm not doing business with these jokers and you shouldn't either. 

Step Three: Know what you want to say.

The flower shop you call is going to ask you what message you'd like to send along with your flowers. It's best to keep it simple. If it's a holiday, something like "Happy Valentine's Day!" is perfect. Otherwise, the best messages are "Just Because" or "Thinking of You". Don't overthink it. The flowers will do the talking. 

Pro Tip: Don't send flowers anonymously.  If you're sending flowers to someone you're trying to woo, don't send them without signing your name. I hate to tell you this, but she's not going to think it's you. She's going to think "OMG, George Clooney/Justin Beiber/Kendrick Lamar sent me flowers!" You can't compete with her fantasy guy so don't try. You're good enough because you're the guy who's cool enough to send flowers. Give yourself the credit.

Step Four: Figure out what you want to send. 

You did step one, right? Tell the designer that takes your order what colors the object of your desire likes and anything about her personality that seems relevant. Trust the professionals, they do this every day. Everybody on my team has a minimum of thirty years experience. Half of them were born into this industry and have lived it their whole lives. How would you trust a carpenter with that much experience? You would defer to him for almost every decision. Such is the experience of your local florist.

Pro Tip: Most local florists can also deliver candy, cute stuffed animals, and colorful balloons to make your gift even more special. At Schneider's Florist, we partner with Marie's Candy in West Liberty, Ohio to provide our customers with the freshest, top quality, gourmet chocolates available. We also stock adorable stuffed animals that are far superior to the carnival quality plush you'll find at the local big box travesty. Be sure to ask about these upgrades when you call your local florist.

Step Five: Get your credit card out. 

Yup, flowers cost money. There's a vast global infrastructure set up to ship flowers across the planet under refrigeration the whole time, you have to pay for them. So how do you budget for flowers?

Be ready to spend the same amount of money on flowers that you would spend on a fancy meal for the two of you. Whether that's the taco truck around the corner or dinner at The French Laundry, that's what you want to spend. I don't want to talk specific prices, because they will vary widely depending on where you live. Obviously $100 will buy you a lot more flowers in Huntington, West Virginia, than it would buy in Manhattan.  Consider the cost of living in your area when you order.

If you feel like sending flowers isn't for you after reading this guide, that's ok. It's not for everyone. This post is for the guys in my audience that are ready to invest. The guys that are ready to double down and show the women in their lives that they're damn serious about creating a lifetime romance. Wherever you are, this guide is for you.

I will find you a local florist. Contact me at aaronardle@gmail.com or on Twitter @Aaron_Ardle and I will refer you to a local florist in your area for free. Tell me your thoughts about flowers, relationships, whatever. I read every single email. 

See you next week.

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